TMI: Beautiful Operation Overshadowed by Shabby Messaging

Our government gives up way too much information. And not just under the Obama administration--Bush did it too.

We ascertained UBL’s whereabouts by patiently studying the ways of Al Qaida, watching their movements and methods. The enemy learns about us the same way, only instead of spying, they simply read newspapers and watch TV. Our government needs to curb its urge to brag about every accomplishment. Much of it serves no purpose besides feeding our entertainment culture's prurient interests anyway.


President Obama is Right on the Bin Laden Death Pictures

It’s the right decision to not publish the pictures. It would have become a holy icon to the macabre jihadi death worshipers, a gruesome propaganda poster to the sweaty hordes, and it would not have convinced the skeptics. And to those Taliban idiots and other terrorists who taunt us to produce the picture as proof we capped him, the burden is on them. Produce the picture? You produce Bin Laden!

Unfortunately, there is little else about this operation we are unwilling to release.

“There I was…”

Everybody likes to tell stories, especially if they’ve played even a marginal role in it. Whether it’s a forklift accident at work or a world-famous terrorist takedown, everybody wants to be first to spread the news, and we just can’t help regaling others with the juicy tidbits. It is understandable coming from ordinary folk, but it is irresponsible when the United States government does it. In the past, congressmen have inadvertently released damaging classified information in their rush to look important, and VP Joe Biden does it practically every time he opens his mouth.

Multifarious government officials rushing to the microphones has produced an incoherent message that leads a slavering press and fever swamp conspiracy theorists to put hammer and chisel to the exposed fissures, eventuating more official explanations and further fractured incoherence.

Are they lying, or are they simply stupid?

As time goes on, more details emerge. We know how many troops were involved, how many helicopters, how long it took. We even know which eye the skilled marksman shot out. All of this information, that none of us needs to know, fills in the blanks for bad guys hoping to dodge Osama’s fate.

Less serious but still troubling, as the “facts” change and the different government agencies struggle to amend earlier comments and keep their stories straight, the US government loses credibility and risks tarnishing the brave deeds of patriotic Americans.

Disinformation?

This is all too much information. "TMI!" as my sassy daughter would say. Unless it’s disinformation, in which case our government could do a much better job.

Here's how you do disinformation...

I want the bad guys and the superstitious hordes who cheer and shelter them to think our soldiers are hiding underground right now spying on them, ready to come up through the soil and strangle them at any moment. I want these 7th century obscurantists to believe we can read their thoughts, see through the walls of their grimy cinderblock huts, and swoop down and grab them at any time with trained invisible eagles. I want them to think every crawling bug and slithering reptile is a trained US spy.

It's not so far-fetched. They blamed the shark attacks off an Egyptian coastal resort on Mossad-trained predators. If the gullible dingbats actually believe Israel made a pact with King Poseidon to produce a flotilla of submersed Muslim eaters just to wreck Egypt's tourist industry, they'll believe anything

This should have been the only official statement:

“Through diligent intelligence work, we discovered Bin Laden. We dropped into his walled hovel and shot him and his son dead."

Let the speculation, conjecture and fearmongering run rampant. It would all work to our favor by leaving the press, the European pacifists, and the pompous UN global citizen crowd sputtering with outrage. Best of all, it would strike fear of the unknown into evildoing America-haters everywhere, leaving them glancing nervously over their shoulders, knowing no haven is truly safe.