Barack Hussein's Caliphate of this World

America has devolved into a strange populist direct democracy, where government clerics enforce ad hoc public policy based upon who screams the loudest. Meanwhile, the legislative branch takes orders from state-less plutocrats, Wall Street banksters and faceless corporations while the president issues decrees.

America is a Caliphate Ruled by Nine Mullahs in Black Robes

Never mind what the law says in black in white.  The law is whatever the mullahs tell us it is, and we must bow down.  Like abortion and corporate personhood, gay marriage is a fundamental right.

Chief Justice Roberts is the odd duck out on the gay marriage ruling.  He claimed it had "nothing to do with the constitution."

What the hell does Judge White-Out know about the constitution? And what does a crumbling piece of parchment have to do with life in the Progressive State of America?

Gay Marriage Does Us No Harm

Those worried about gay recruitment of our youth are fingering the wrong culprit. Internet pornography and our porn-lite pop culture convert thousands of young men every day into socially-stunted crotch-grabbing monkey-boys demanding backdoor action and a money shot on the first date. And a thousand girls a day comply, because social media and peer-acceptance is everything.

ObamaCare is a metastasizing cloud of liberty-devouring termites, but the gay marriage ruling does our secular Mullahocracy no harm.

Does "God Hate Fags?"

We know that God warned us against homosexuality in the Torah, but we don't know what his reasons were...

Many Biblical mandates had practical health and sanitation reasons. Playing with poop is unsanitary, and a torn anus or perforated intestine would spell death for someone back in those days.

Another reason for God's intolerance toward gays could have been that God was all about prodding his chosen people to get busy making little chosen babies, and men lying with men and women lying with women doesn't get the job done. See also: Onan

Earthly Husks

Today, we have soap and running water, prophylactics and lubrication products, and if someone does get injured we have modern medicine.  So is homosexuality OK now?  Or is there a deeper spiritual meaning to all of those Old Testament and New Testament corporeal prohibitions?

Also, God's Chosen People, the Hebrews, are birth-controllin' like crazy. And the rest of us? We're not God's chosen people.  Society has thrown the Bible overboard, heteros cheat, divorce and remarry at a pace that makes the woman at the well look like a paragon of wifely virtue, so it makes no sense to hold on to the anti-gay stuff.

When Christophobic God-haters choose to cornhole, scissor, abort and contracept themselves out of existence, can God even be mad about it? Maybe, in a roundabout way, we're actually doing his will.