Carter Disappointed He Was Passed Over for Dear Leader of North Korea

Do to North Korea what you did to the US and I'll smack the crap outta ya!

(Yonghap - Pyongyang)  Jimmy Carter expressed his disappointment last week at not being chosen as the new Dear Leader of The Hermit Kingdom.  Still, he wished The North Koreans well and urged the international community to stop discriminating against the "misunderstood" country, whose government is dedicated to mass starvation of its people and continuous nuclear sabre rattling.

Here's an excerpt from Carter's Statement:

"Kim Jong-Un, as his name suggests, is the Un-dictator, and we should give him a chance," argued the former president.  "Un is the Un-Jong, the refreshing crisp and clean no caffeine 7Up uncola to the former dictators's oppressive caffeine-laden cola.  The people here are well-fed, the lights are on, and I've never seen such happy, well-choreographed dancing in the streets as I have in Pyongyang.  It reminds me of those cheerful kids in those old Dr. Pepper commercials..."

Not all North Koreans agreed with the decision to pass over the former US President.  "We are a militarily impotent economic basket case," a Communist Party food taster remarked off the record, "Carter would have been perfect for the job."

A wathcally wathist behind evwy Twee!

Back on US soil, Carter lost no time leveling charges of racism against any republican whose name he could remember.  Newt Gingrich made the fatal mistake of mentioning foodstamps, which the tens of millions of tea party klan members know is secret racist code.  That inspired an anonymous MSNBC news presenter to call Mitt Romney a racist for giving a poor black woman cash as he met her on a campaign event rope line.

If Mitt Romney is a racist for giving a black woman 50 bucks, then the US Government is a hateful bigotry machine, running the biggest progressive plantation in the history of the planet. It’s neo-slavery! Progressives are the new slave masters, trapping poor blacks in crime-infested ghettos, locking them in crumbling union-dominated schools that the liberal elite would never even think of sending their own kids to, and lying to them every few years to harvest their votes.

Jimmy Carter, the ideal democrat, would fit equally well in either the US or North Korea, as would the obedient propaganda toadies at MSNBC...