Did President Obama Make the Oceans Recede?

Did President Obama rebuke the hurricane from his lofty NOAA command post?

The Telegraph’s Toby Harnden writes derisively of the overhyped hurricane Irene. The dire warnings blared out by the nanny state trio of Obama, Bloomberg and Napolitano never came to pass. Harnden’s reacap of the stereotypical reporters doing their stereotypically hysterical reportage from the stereotypical windswept beach was priceless. The New Jersey reporter who stood in raw sewage and commented it didn’t taste very good got special mention.


But what really happened?

Remember when, to thunderous world applause, President Obama pledged he'd make the oceans recede? The assembled press corps shivered with excitement and collectively piddled down their little hind legs as His O-ness soared to oratorical heights untrammeled by mere-mortal presidents.

David Plouffe hinted Monday that Obama has fulfilled that campaign promise this past weekend, but would not elaborate when pressed.  Others were more direct, criticizing the president for his unilateral intervention that has stirred the wrath of the ocean's rulers.

"He should not have done it," clucked the UN Special High Poobah Rapporteur for Climatological Appeasement.  "His unilateral oceanic imperialism smacked too much of that horrible Bush administration.  The ocean's denizens are angry.  President Obama should apologize."

Bush, Cheney to blame for ignoring, disrespecting the ocean kingdom

Has Obama incurred the wrath of Poseidon?

DC insiders say an apology may be forthcoming. In a face-saving move, it will be couched in criticism of the last administration. Dick Cheney's pasty white complexion was a proud testament to his total disregard for the Oceanic kings, having never once visited the beach.

And it is alleged that President Bush urinated upon their abode during various sailing jaunts off the coast of Kennebunkport, Maine. While in the very act of "drainin' the lizard", the former president is rumored to have said, "what's the ocean ever done for me? Heh heh heh!"
 
Ocean Kings Pledge to Rebuff Obama Apology

Reverend Al Gore of the International Church of Gaia insists the Earth is angry, and that includes the roiling oceans, which will "conjure up category 25 hurricanes and steal our coconuts" if we don't change our ways.

Cowering Europeans are bracing for further waves of righteous oceanic anger, certain that the foamy spillover will inevitably reach their  shores.  EU Parliament members have taken to wearing flippers and have outlawed seafood consumption in an effort to appease the angry gods of the deep.