Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Merry Redneck Christmas

Redneck Santa and Mrs. Silverfiddle.  
Now that the North Korea Pot Bellied Pig has been banished to the land of wind and pointy-tailed demons, we can all relax and enjoy our Christmas.

I am a redneck.  I hunt and fish and drive a pickup.  I have guns and pocket knives passed down from grandpas through my dad to me.

More importantly, I love redneck jokes, greatly enjoyed Blue Collar TV, and I have the complete DVD collection of Blue Collar Comedy Tour.  

I got this in an e-mail from a fellow redneck named Redneck Ron...

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..' 

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
 

You might be a redneck if: You believe in God & Jesus and believe that others have the right to believe in whatever God they want, or no God at all, so long as they don't make themselves a pain in the ass about it!

25 comments:

LD Jackson said...

Going by the list you have posted, I have to admit that I am guilty of being a redneck.

98ZJUSMC said...

Same here.

Thank God.

Always On Watch said...

Mr. AOW loves Blue Color Comedy -- as you can tall from some of the posts at Mr. AOW's web site. The top post there is Dean Martin's version of "Jingle Bells," but there is a post further down called "Blue Color Christmas," with videos.

I have satellite radio in one of my cars, and we listen to Blue Collar Comedy all the time. Funny stuff -- and politically incorrect, too.

Bunkerville said...

God and Guns sir. That is what makes (made) America great.

Ducky's here said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ducky's here said...

You may be a redneck if you think the establishment clause should be amended or don't accept it in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Whah yew ain't no redneck, SilverFiddle, yew is jest a good, playne ol' fashon Merkin, that's awl.

An' what's that yew say?

A Merkin is what George Dubya Boosh means when he sez, "Ahm prowd to be a Merkin sittizen frumm the grate stait o' Ticksus."

Butchoo cain't be no redneck nohow, 'cause them rednecks don' know how to toak, reed or rot Inglish worth sheeyutt, even if they doo thank et awta bee are uffishel langwidge -- an' yew rot reel good, Silver, yew rilly doo. An yore smart 2 -- rail smart. Rednecks ain't smart -- not lock yew izz innyway. Yew got eddicayshun.

An no dayum redneck wood ever admit he locked a dayum Dago lock Dean Martin.

An innyway yew nivver even menshunned NASCAR, ore the Klan, so how kood yew bee a redneck?

There ain't no way yew is, SilverFiddle, butt me an mah sister an awl are keds wish yew a Murry Krismess anyway.

~ FrayThanke

Z said...

First, let me just say Mrs. SF is beautiful! And you look really cute as Santa :-)
And yes, this list is so much fun and true. I guess I'm a redneck, too. hurrah!

Let me just add that "you may not have the honor of being a redneck but you must be really confused or looking for something to complain about if you think any of the points in the post have anything to do with establishing any one religion on a country."

Silverfiddle said...

Thank you Z! That is my better half, but the rather substantial lap she sits upon is Redneck Ron's not mine.

He's about twice my size and really hairy. When he goes shirtless in the summertime it looks like he's wearing a wool sweater.

If you want to see my ugly mug, go here:

http://www.facebook.com/Silverfiddle

Chakam Conservative said...

Oh. Well, it appears I am a redneck. Imagine that.

Clinging to my guns, my Scriptures, and the US Constitution, I fully embrace this label.

Ron Paul 2012, bitches. :)

Oh, and Happy Kwanzaa, y'all!

Chakam Conservative said...

Kurt,

I just followed your link to your FB page.

Get a haircut, ya filthy hippie.

:)

Silverfiddle said...

Chakam:

I've cut my hair since then, due to a BBQing accident (yes, alcohol was involved, and no, no one was hurt, just some singed hair), but it's growing back.

After so many years in the military, I guess I just had to go the other way when I got out.

I had long hair before I went in, kinda looked like Jim Morrison. When I regrew it decades later, instead of the Doors frontman, I ended up looking like Rob Zombie!

Z said...

I like long hair...keep going! :-)
I take it your friend Ron reads your blog, right? !
Of course, you're all sun glasses there (that's me in most outside shots, too) but I like your picture!
I saw your video of you playing guitar, anyway :-)

Silverfiddle said...

There's a video of me there? I couldn't find it... I'm not very Facebook savvy...

amanofwonder said...

Y'all wanna know the only fool proof and 100% positive way to indentify a redneck?

Look inna a mirror.

We all are to someone and Imma proud uv it.

amanofwonder said...

PS

Gud lookin' woman. How'd ya get so blessed dressing up like you'z do?

liberaldude said...

I hunt, fish, drive a truck and carry a pocket knife and I'm a liberal. You sir, are a stereotype.

Silverfiddle said...

That's what "redneck" is, a stereotype. Congratulations on finally catching on to a conversation thread for once.

Alligator said...

Silver - is Leon Redbone your older brother? :o By the way, you married very well!

I grew up in the big city, but I'm considered pretty red necky now. I only go up to the city now to see relatives or go to museums.

Anonymous said...

SF-I have say the your beautiful better half and that handsome Santa maintain their looks in such a fantastic way every year you repost that picture, Yes! I am redneck and dang proud of it. Redneck Ron

Z said...

SF, YOU linked it for me...playing guitar with a friend, remember? I forget the friend; an Indian (native AMerican, excuse me:) friend??

See I know Redneck Ron reads your blog or you'd not have written that explanation of him :)
how the heck old IS that pic??!!

Silverfiddle said...

It's gotta be over ten years ago. Mrs S has changed not at all, while my hair is turning the color of Santa's!

Leticia said...

Well, I am from the south, by marriage, and from your list there, I am hesitant to say that, "I am a redneck." So, I choose to say that, "I am a patriotic southerner with some varied redneck tendencies." Yep, that works for me.

Love the picture!

Anonymous said...

Ah steel say yew ain't no redneck, bro.

Yew jess ain't ignernt enuff fer that.

Besods, ya steel gotcha teeth dontcha?

Now that hayre o' yourn -- that's what them intelleckshuls cawl FOE redneck.

Agin, me, ma sistur 'n are kids wish yew a Murry Krismess.

Regordz,

~ FrayThanke

dmarks said...

Generally, rednecks can be trusted to vote more in the public interest, than, say, their opposites (white-necked wine-sippin NPR donaters?)