Friday, August 31, 2012

Towards a More Feminine Union?

Does this strike anyone else as… (fill in the blank)?

Sometimes awkward, yet always steadfast, a genuine bromance is today’s modern way for two straight dudes to say, “I love you, man!”--a close, platonic friendship of love, support and deep affection between two males. If you're a guy who's never had a male BFF, though, finding your bromate can be challenging. Whether you're interested in finding the Robin to your Batman or you've recently met a potential best friend, knowing exactly how to start a bromance will get your relationship off to a good start. (How to start a Bromance)
I was going to say, “does this strike anyone else as gay,” but I have nothing against gay men that would cause me to smear them like that. Reading Wikihow is sometimes informative and often entertaining. This one reads like a parody, but, alas, I fear it is serious.

Here are other excerpts I found cringe-worthy:
Adhere to the unspoken dude code that although you may be having a bromance you don’t have to talk about it (first rule of Fight Club).
Try to find a fun activity you can do together regularly, a manly ritual of sorts: weekly poker night, daily trips to the gym, going to see your favorite band together every time they come through town. (How to start a Bromance)
I guess I must be getting old, because stuff like this strikes me as creepy and pathetic. I belonged to a real fight club:  A Dojo.  We put on MMA gloves and pounded the crap out of each other, and then we'd go to Old Chicago for beers and some laughs.  My son trains there now (as does my teen daughter), and he talks like a man and isn't looking for a bromance.  

When I wanted to go out drinking with my buds we just called it going out drinking, and when we hunted we just called it hunting. Had someone called it a “manly ritual,” or used the word “bromance,” we’d of probably beat the crap out of him, or teased him about it for the rest of his life.

Are men younger than me really so socially stunted that they need this kind of advice? More importantly, is our culture changing, becoming more feminized?

Victor Davis Hanson Wonders as Well...
Why can’t any of our actors talk like a Humphrey Bogart, Glenn Ford, Lee Marvin, Henry Fonda, James Stewart, Bill Holden, or Gregory Peck? I’m not asking for Jack Palance or Fess Parker, just a normal male mainstream voice. I know there are Al Pacinos and Robert De Niros, but they too seem to fade before the new wave of DiCaprios.
Today’s male’s voice is often far more feminine than that of 50 years ago. Sort of whiney, sort of nasally, sort of fussy. Being overexact, sighing, artificially pausing, all that seems part of the new elite parlance. In terms of vocabulary, the absolute (“he’s no damn good,” “she’s a coward,” “he ran the business to hell”) is avoided. Pejoratives and swearing resemble adolescent temper tantrums rather than threats that might well presage violence. (VDH – Postmodern cultural Elite)
He expands on this theme in another column…
Something has happened to the generic American male accent. Maybe it is urbanization; perhaps it is now an affectation to sound precise and caring with a patina of intellectual authority; perhaps it is the fashion culture of the metrosexual; maybe it is the influence of the gay community in arts and popular culture.
Maybe the ubiquitous new intonation comes from the scarcity of salty old jobs in construction, farming, or fishing. But increasingly to meet a young American male about 25 is to hear a particular nasal stress, a much higher tone than one heard 40 years ago, and, to be frank, to listen to a precious voice often nearly indistinguishable from the female.
How indeed could one make Westerns these days, when there simply is not anyone left who sounds like John Wayne, Richard Boone, Robert Duvall, or Gary Cooper much less a Struther Martin, Jack Palance, L.Q. Jones, or Ben Johnson? I watched the movie Twelve O'clock High the other day, and Gregory Peck and Dean Jagger sounded liked they were from another planet. I confess over the last year, I have been interviewed a half-dozen times on the phone, and had no idea at first whether a male or female was asking the questions. (VDH – 10 Random Politically Incorrect Thoughts)
I’m no Gary Cooper, and my voice is closer to a Jeff Foxworthy than to a John Wayne, but I read this stuff and I can’t help but nod my head, thankful that someone else besides me has noticed this.


Thersites said...

Maybe you should leave the comfort of Belmont and hang out in Fishtown?

Constitutional Insurgent said...

Television commercials have been pushing the image of the doughy, whiny, mechanically incompetant male for decades now.

I have no explanation why....but it hasn't gone un-noticed by me.

Ducky's here said...

Romney does have a pretty whiny voice now that you mention it.

Silverfiddle said...

Theresites: I don't understand. Please expound.

"Bromance" and "Manly rituals" are inventions of the cultural elite, and they are employed in Belmont.

In Fishtown, they still call it friendship, and activities like bowling or fishing are called what they are, not "manly rituals."

Silverfiddle said...

Not as whiny as yours though, Ducky.

Ducky's here said...

Well the whole thesis seems pretty silly.

No shortage of action films out there.
This just seems another extension of the fringe right's obsession with homosexuality.

No shortage of MMA fighters going into a steroid fueled psychosis.

Nothing to see folks, move along.

Ducky's here said...

... and all this the day after Dirty Harry spoke at the convention.

Silverfiddle said...

Yeah, the liberals who loved Clint's superbowl commercial have turned all pouty all of a sudden...

Thersites said...

Sounds like you "got it" rather well, w/o any expansion or elaboration.

Stanley Kowalski said... my presence is no longer "tolerated", almost anywhere BUT Fishtown.

Titan said...

...and mine universally applauded throughout Belmont.

Titan said...

Get with it, Bro! ;)

Darth Bacon said...

Becaz he don't talks like a reverend ?

Thersites said...

"High culture" always descends into "low culture" on the feminized side of the civilizational curve.... as the pursuit of "pleasure" overwhelms that of the pursuit of "power" (and corresponding pains necessary to maintain it, like "fitness").

Thersites said...


Sam Huntington said...

If it is one’s intent to tear down a nation, it must tear down all of its institutions. This is the leftist agenda. Destroy marriage; destroy education; destroy our system of justice; destroy the US military; destroy free-market capitalism; restrict people from practicing their faith, transform men into girly boys like Ducky, reverse gender roles, and for those who resist these campaigns, call them racists, scream into their faces, plague their blogs and drop leftist filth everywhere you go …

Shaw Kenawe said...

"Yeah, the liberals who loved Clint's superbowl commercial have turned all pouty all of a sudden..."

No. Eastwood's speech was a major FAIL because it was rambling, incoherent, and weird.

His Super Bowl ad was scripted and well directed.

Eastwood should have stayed with the script. He would have succeeded. Instead, he's the big talking point today, and not Mittens's speech.

Just look at your own blog post today. Nothing at all about your nominee.

And you blame the liberals for that?

Jack Whyte said...

No. Eastwood's speech was a major FAIL because it was rambling, incoherent, and weird.

Liberals: champions of creativity EXCEPT when demonstrated by a non-liberal.

Hypocrites. Idiots. Clowns.

Steve said...

Hey liar,
you support ChickFlick and the anti-gay agenda
But then claim you are not anti gay
You are a liar and a fool
Like others who claim the same shit lie

Darth Bacon said...

Eastwood was GREAT, if you don't believe it then just read the Libs response. If they did'nt like it then you know it was good

Titan said...

Call me Gaybe, Stevie?

Darth Bacon said...

One note Samba!

Titan said...


Let's go out and lick some thighs...

Steve said...

Truth hurts, especially for those who base their thinking/ideas in lies.

Shaw Kenawe said...

Ralphie's sock puppets have been reduced to making anti-gay taunts and leaving sexist links.

And no one's talking about Mitt's Big Night.

Thersites said...

no one's talking about Mitt's Big Night.

Threads do have topics, Shaw... so perhaps you should try "sticking" to them, for a change.

Silverfiddle said...

Shaw: So you're a critic now? Clint's speech was a "major fail?"

So tell us, how many Oscars have you won? How many Oscar winning movies have you directed?

Thought so. Just another sour-grapes liberal, stung by the blasphemy against your messiah.

"Just look at your own blog post today. Nothing at all about your nominee.

And you blame the liberals for that?"

Just look at my blog all this week. My only mention of the convention was how it was unhinging you lefties. Thanks for stopping in and proving my point.

conservativesonfire said...

An excellent observation. I too think it is creepy and I do not doubt it is part of the liberal push to destroy our culture.

Shaw Kenawe said...

SF: "So tell us, how many Oscars have you won? How many Oscar winning movies have you directed?"

The liberals are unhinged? What has that remark got to do with Eastwood's awful presentation? He's a great director, composer, and actor. Lousy at politics. It's that simple, and it is YOU, my friend, who appears to be unhinged over it.

SF: "Thought so. Just another sour-grapes liberal, stung by the blasphemy against your messiah."

Another example of unhingedness. Sour grapes? Even the pundits on the right thought Eastwood was horrid and disjointed.

Thersites said...

I've been told that avoiding a thread topic is bad form at your blog, Shaw. Hypocrite much?

Lisa said...

Some actors can act but are different when they are themselves,either way he got his point across which is Obama is a failure. This is why Andrea Mitchell and Rachel Maddow and Shaw said the exact same thing about it.I'll give you one Biden and raise you one Eastwood.
The MSNBC crowd hate that there was alot of enthusiasm and energy during this convention. I am sure they particularly cringed at Mia Love an Artur Davis' speech because they refused to air them. Of course they will focus on Clint Eastwood and not on the wonderful speeches of Condaleeza Rice,Susana Martinez,Mia Love, Marco Rubio and Artur Davis. I guess that's because they are racists.

Thersites said...

Lighten up, Democrats...

Silverfiddle said...

"Even the pundits on the right thought Eastwood was horrid and disjointed."

Ride that bandwagon!

Thersites said...

I can't wait until we get back to the REAL issues of this campaign... like the Republican War on Women!

FreeThinke said...

Contact sports and warfare are the irredeemably heterosexual males' way of expressing their innate bisexuality without openly acknowledging it.

God knows us all far better than we could ever hope to know ourselves.

~ FT

Ducky's here said...

Farmer, your Steve alter ego is really a bore. Please lose him.

While we are on the topic it's good that you dropped "Matsuo". He was so gay.

Ducky's here said...

So tell us, how many Oscars have you won? How many Oscar winning movies have you directed?

He sure didn't win any for script writing. The speech was a rambling mess.

Pretty much consistent with the Republicans failure to offer anything constructive.

Trot some token out there to whine about the price of gas and call it a policy presentation. Let's face it Silver, do you really want to vote for Mitt the metrosexual?

Thersites said...

The War on Women has PROVEN that Republicans are such extremists...

FreeThinke said...

I'll take Bromance
While my heart is young and eager to fly
I'll give my heart a try
I'll take Bomance

I'll take Bromance
While my arms are strong and eager for you
I'll give my arms that cue
I'll take Bromance

So, my buddy, when you want me call me
In the hush of the evening
When you call me in the hush of the evening
I'll rush to my first real Bomance

I'll take Bromance
I'll take a chance
I'll take Bromance!


Apologies to Rodgers and Hart

Come to think it, it really does sound pretty silly, doesn't it?

~ FT

-FJ said...

I own up to my puppets, duckman. And Stevie and Matsuo aren't in my stable. Sorry, but you really DO make Beak look good... but then, TAHT isn't what your trying to do, is it? ;)

FreeThinke said...

Thanks to Dr. Frederick Wertham it has been well known for DECADES that the BATMAN and ROBIN comics we all used to find so entertaining sixty-odd years ago were in actual fact a damnable CELEBRATION of PEDERASTY.

Batman was obviously GAY and his "ward" that poor little innocent teenager ROBIN had been taken ADVANTAGE of by the EVIL PREDATORY PEDERAST better known as BATMAN.

It HAS to be true, because Dr. Wertham SAID so in a book called SEDUCTION of the INNOCENT.

These VILE VILE PRACTICES have been around since the Serpent lisped into Eve's all-too-receptive ear in The Garden.

We are a HOPELESSLY FLAWED -- FALLEN -- SPECIES. We need to get on with the business of becoming extinct ASAP.

A long as there is even ONE overt homosexual left on the face of the globe, mankind is DOOMED.



Ducky's here said...

Silverfiddle, why is Hanson so hung up on the absolute ultimate vehicle for the bromance, the Western?

Now full disclosure, I really get a kick out of these morons who think they are innately qualified to comment on film history. He is a stitch.

Clint Eastwood/Morgan Freeman?

The western vacillates between the bromance and the lone hero. I'll point to Peckinpaw's Ride the High Country (on last time, Joel McCrae and Randolph Scott doing it old school) as an example.
He takes it to the extreme in The Wild Bunch .

If you want something more contemporary try the Australian film, The Proposition.

So Victor screwed up once again but the question of why you pulled the bromance out of his ten points is interesting.

Myself, I enjoyed the idiot's idea of teaching four years of Latin in high school. Okay, where does Vic think we can get the teachers? Man, he is a dope.

Thersites said...

Oy vey!

Didn't you know that the world started out with THREE sexes, FT?

Feminine values are just so... half-useful. Perhaps that is why I love them, so. But the third sex... oy. Don't get me started.

Thersites said...

Ducky wants us all to go Brokeback to the Future.

Rational Nation USA said...

I was going to comment until I noticed Sewer Trash Stevie in the room. Kind of figured there was no point.

Leticia said...

I have noticed it! And I am doing my raise my boys to be men, not whiny little girls, no offense to girls, btw.

I was actually talking to my sister about the same thing this morning. Where are the REAL men? Where did they go and how on earth do we get them back?

"Bromance" really? That would be awkward for any man, right? I don't want men to get in touch with their "feminine side" we women want men, real men, who behave and act like men and are responsible, driven and not wishy-washy.

We need to raise boys as tough, strong, independent men, and not momma's boys. Strong in Christ, and yes, that is "manly" to cry.

The athlete from last nights RNC was almost in tears and I liked that. But still, he came off as a man.

I think I just lost my train of thought.

But I am sure my message was clear.

Silverfiddle said...

Leticia: *Fist Bump* You get it!

@ Ducky: ...but the question of why you pulled the bromance out of his ten points is interesting.

I'm feeding you liberals now, but my brain works in funny ways sometimes.

I read the Wiki, and it caused me to recall the VDH article, so I linked them together.

And just because I quote or feature someone doesn't mean I am their acolyte, hanging credulously on their every word.

All humans are fallible and thus not beyond scrutiny. Plus, much commentary turns upon opinion and bias. So I really like VDH, and I quote him, but often I do it to spur conversation or to hear what others have to say.

Steve said...

Yes, there is no point in printing your hate and lies

skudrunner said...

"Mr. Axelrod said Democrats will offer more in the way of solutions at their national convention next week, but that they will also draw parallels between Mr. Romney's economic policies and those of former President George W. Bush."

WOW, now they have solutions where before they were just winging it.
Obama can't seem to run against anyone except Bush. I guess he forgot that he is the one who said "I won, You lost" but of course he didn't build it, someone else did so why should he be held accountable.

Finntann said...

@Yes, there is no point in printing your hate and lies.

As there is no point in printing your inane drivel.

If you need a good example of a cogent counter argument, look to Ducky. He may name call at times, but he does it more for emphasis then content.

With you, it's all the content there is.

Frankly, your a pissy little whiny bitch and I don't know why SF puts up with your mindless schoolyard banter.

Finntann said...

From as more analytical perspecte the term 'Bromance' is an oxymoron. The portmanteau of Brother and Romance to describe a homosocial relationship is contradictory as homosocial relationships are by their very nature non-sexual and not romantic in the classical sense of the word.

The conjunction of metrosexual and bromance is itself contradictory as the metrosexual is by nature narcissistic.

Mark Simpson who is credited with coining the term metrosexual offered this definition:

"The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis — because that’s where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference."

The narcissitic tendencies of the metrosexual would seem to run counter to the deep friendship implied by term 'bromance'.

As to the decline of masculinity, one need look no further than the redefinition of gender and gender roles, and the redefinition of the place of self within society.

Classical definitions of masculinity revolved around courage, ethics, and generosity while more traditional modern definitions focused on self-sufficiency, provision, and leadership particularly in the areas of work and family.

The traits usually assigned as masculine are not as highly valued in our post-modern, it's all about me world of self-gratification.

Where did masculinity go? You can find it alongside manners, ethics, and self-sufficiency.


Jack Camwell said...

I might possibly be the youngest person that posts here (28) so perhaps my perspective would be enlightening.

I use the term "bromance," jokingly to describe my friendship with my closest male friends. I think the term sounds hilarious, so I use it.

I use it in particular with one really good friend of mine, I guess I'd call him my best friend.

The best way to describe it is how it was described. It's a way of saying "I love you man!" without having to feel weird about it.

It's not gay, not even a little bit. Actually, the guys that subscribe to the notion of a bromance are usually very masculine.

Personally, I'm pretty comfortable with my sexuality and masculinity, so using terms like that does not really make me feel like I'm a chick or something.

I don't understand why masculinity has to be associated with inarticulate speech, being in fight clubs, and drinking beer.

Honestly, who cares? What really matters are the classic "manly" virtues that Finntan aluded to. For me, the height of masculinity is based on the four cardinal virtues: justice, prudence, courage, and fortitude.

Courage is a big one with me, and it's something that I stress a lot to my son.

All that other stuff is just a bunch of petty qualifications that men use to stratify the male population.

Silverfiddle said...

@ Jack: I might possibly be the youngest person that posts here...

Hey! Are you calling us old farts?

Seriously, thanks for chiming in for your generation.

Ducky's here said...

Remember, Finntann, Victor Davis Hanson says just speak from the diaphragm an it will all be resolved, whatever that imaginary problem might be.

The guy is a clown.

Finntann said...

Well said Jack.

Finntann said...

I don't know Ducky, while his argument is demeaned by opportunistic bashing of those he disagrees with politically (certainly not masculine behavior), he does make some fairly good observations.

Do you really disagree with his observations on education, hollywood, the media, finance, politicians, and farming?

His commentary on vocal range and affecation is a bit ridiculous, and all I can say about his paragraph on the right purging itself of its extremists is we've got a long way to go. But is his assessment of the left in the same paragraph that far off?


Steve said...

Be a jackass get treated like a jackass

Silverfiddle said...

Oh, I don't know Stevie, I think we treat you pretty good around here despite your oxygen-sucking nonsense.

Jack Camwell said...

Yes, you're all ancient compared to me =)

In all seriousness, whoever wrote that ehow article probably couldn't stop laughing as they were typing it.

I mean, we understand what a bromance is, but we say it to be funny.

If like, being emotionally supportive for a guy friend is considered "feminine," then I guess I'm a chick.

What is deemed "masculine" changes over time. In ancient Greece it was not considered effeminate for a man to have a male lover. They just did whatever.

I mean, the Spartans might have looked down on that, but homosexuality wasn't really considered an effeminate thing.

Z said...

This post subject of yours is absolutely creepy...Hanson is so good and he's so right about this.

I feel sorry for men these last 30 years or so; women ( our economy and women's lib) have taken the ability to feel like the bread winner from them (for many reasons, some understandable), children are portrayed in ads and movies as way smarter than the idiot father, girls are so available that all the loveliness of cherishing a woman and woo-ing her and feeling happy she's finally his is all gone.....Sometimes, I wonder if that availability of girls who'll sleep with anything that's breathing and feeling like the victim instead of the one who's courting isn't what IS making men more 'metrosexual'...

our society is very screwed up.

Rational Nation USA said...

Steve said... "Be a jackass get treated like a jackass"

You apparently finally found the mirror. Very good to see you're finally getting it Steve.

Nightie night Stevie...

Z said...

Jersey McJones said...

Some of these comments were really far out...

There are different sorts of "bromances" but the term usually refers to men who work together but have different levels of authority at work. We used to call it "brown-nosing."

The term can also refer to people who when they happen to be working together, happen to share a common sense of humor, and get a little carried way with jokes sometimes.

Then there's a rather sad cultural commentary version of "bromance," and that involves lonely, single men, regardless of age, hanging out together in mutually destructive relationships, and usually more destructive to one than the other.

It's a funny expression, but it's only gay when someone interprets it that way. In reality, it's just an observation. A grown man would rather not spend personal, private time, excluding hobbies and sports and such, around other grown men unless he is gay. "Bromance" is an expression born out of school and the workplace. Anyone who thinks otherwise is gay. ;)


Finntann said...

@There are different sorts of "bromances" but the term usually refers to men who work together but have different levels of authority at work. We used to call it "brown-nosing."

Where in the world did you get that definition from?

Jersey McJones said...

Real life.


Always On Watch said...

Jack Whyte said, more or less, what I was going to say:

Liberals: champions of creativity EXCEPT when demonstrated by a non-liberal.

Liberals adore Clint -- or used to -- because of his stand on certain social issues. But now that he has very publicly endorsed Romney, the Left is having a meltdown and displaying their lack of sophistication.

I also note that the Left has zero problem with SNL skits satirizing the GOP.

What's getting to the Left right now is that Eastwood delivered zingers that were accurate and hurt.

If he were suffering from dementia, he couldn't have delivered this lines, which were uttered in the manner of the character he played in Gran Torino and, unless I miss my guess, in the manner of the character he is playing in Trouble with the Curve, due for release on September 21.

Right after Eastwood's speech, the mainstream media screeched, "He was off teleprompter."

No, he wasn't. He didn't use the damn teleprompter! Rather, his was an improv stagecraft designed to drive home certain theses.

Always On Watch said...

Hey! Would not Jack Nicholson, another great improv actor, have done something very like Eastwood were Nicholson to have appeared at the DNC? The Left would lap that up like the idiot swillers that they are.

Of course, one difference = Nicholson would have been all snorted up.

Gary Freid said...

The mockery of Eastwood's empty chair was predictable... What was wrong wit it?
It was chuck full of President Obama, failures done in a comical way.
Ever hear of Bill Mahar, or Davis Letterman?
What is it about lefties that makes them change the subject when faced with facts?
All Clint Eastwood really did was to reminded everyone of the lost hope that Obama had promised. I for one liked Clint's routine, very much. It was right on target and it made me laugh at the same time.
Clint certainly gets it.
Maybe we can expect the Dems to bring in Robin Williams.or Tina Fey to counter act.

And on another note: I see that you have many liberals commenter here,please don't start to adhere to the rules of your progressive counterpart. Don't let them set the rules.

Z said...

JMJ, it's CLEARLY not just friendship between men; did you read the post?
And does the 'romance' part of it bug you at ALL?
Did you ever have trouble "knowing exactly how to start a bromance"?
Friendships are call each other and say "Hey, let's go for a beer"

KP said...

Sounds like the word bromance has a few definitions depending on the guys and gals defining it.

To me, there has never been anything sexual about it. Some guys just like doing stuff with other guys: riding bikes, playing cards, surfing, skaters, roundball, etc. But a bromance always means you spend time with the person(s).

A man crush is nothing sexual either, but it's from a distance and more of an idolizing. It doesn't have to be something negative. For example, I have a bit of a man crush on Tom Brady of the New England Patriots but it doesn't affect my life in anyway.

On the other hand, some doodes have man crushes that seem to change them (good or bad). For example, Chris Matthews' man crush on Obama has inspired/altered him. Inspired being more positive, and altered perhaps a bit of a negative conotation.

My man crush on John Wooden (legendary and hall of fame mentor from UCLA) has been more of the inspirational type.

Z said...

Hi, Kid! It's normal for men to really admire and like other men, and likewise with women, but would you call your adoration of any man a bROMANCE?

Thersites said...

The gay agenda worms into the larger culture....

Thersites said...

total acceptance of said gay agenda is just one man on man mouth kiss away. And if you reject it... you're just another hating homophobe.

FreeThinke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FreeThinke said...

[W]e are here as on a darkling plain

Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight, 

Where ignorant armies clash by night.

~ Matthew Arnold (1867)