Immigration for a New Millennium

People's Cube

We're a connected world, and that has changed the nature of immigration. Our laws should change as well.

The fires Middle Eastern Muslims escape from now follow them to their new homes via the internet and satellite TV. This plants their cultural bigotries and dysfunctions on new soil where they are nurtured by hate preachers and misogynist neighborhood gangs, self-appointed religious police, and community rabble rousers who leverage host nation ideals of liberty and freedom of worship to employ jutistu moves against those same liberties that offend their delicate religious sensibilities.

Why does someone who suffered persecution in the Middle East (which by UN standards probably describes the vast majority) have to jump over five countries and land in a strange, incompatible and offensive culture of Europe or the United States?

If we were smart, we'd bribe other Islamic countries to take our refugee quota. Send the Muslim refugees to Indonesia, or a stable islamic African country in exchange for a few billion in foreign aid. Australia practices a form of this right now. We are are foolish for importing radicalized Syrians and Somalis. Nothing good can come from it.

We are not Latin America... yet

Our interconnected world works against newcomers from the south integrating into our society. My Mexican friends pop on their TV to watch regional Futbol ligas. Not the bigger matches with other nations for Copa standings, but Jalisco v. Chihuahua. They travel back and forth, and older relatives have visas that allow them to come and go. In 2011, US citizens and permanent residents in Los Angeles waved Mexican flags and cheered for the Mexican team to beat the US team. The LA Times describes how fans of the Mexican National team comported themselves during the match with the US team:

Its (United States) fans were vastly outnumbered. Its goalkeeper was bathed in a chanted obscenity. Even its national anthem (The US National Anthem!) was filled with the blowing of air horns and bouncing of beach balls.

Trivial, I admit, but it supports my contention that an interconnected world combined with close proximity of the mother country and a host nation that demands nothing of you will produce squatters who harbor no fealty to the United States other than gratitude for employment and a place flop down.

This man describes perfectly a common sentiment:

"I love this country, it has given me everything that I have, and I'm proud to be part of it," said Victor Sanchez, a 37-year-old Monrovia resident wearing a Mexico jersey. "But yet, I didn't have a choice to come here, I was born in Mexico, and that is where my heart will always be."

For people from Latin America, I've changed my mind and I now believe we shouldn't give any of them citizenship. We're too close to the home of their hearts, and there is absolutely no incentive for anyone here to learn English, respect the culture, or understand our system of government and what it means to be a good citizen. We already have too many native-born Americans who fit that description.

Our policy for our neighbors to the south should mirror those of the nations they hail from:  With a few sensible limits, allow them free entry and exit, but no social services. If they can support themselves with employment, or get the Christian Churches who love them so much to support them, they can stay here. As a bonus, we'll also provide work visas based on the needs of the nation, and implement a robust employment verification system and harshly punish dirty employers who exploit foreign workers.

No More Anchor Babies

To make this work, we would have to put an end to granting citizenship to babies born here to foreigners.  Easy enough, since it is a matter of law, not a constitutional guarantee.

A Buffer Zone on the Border 

The next step is to outsource immigration enforcement to Mexico, or at least buy their cooperation.  We create a buffer zone between the US and Mexico, so that people detained there have no recourse to the US justice system and the ACLU shysters who infest it, since they are not on US soil.  We build detention facilities on the Mexican side.  We gain Mexico's cooperation by bribing them with 'foreign aid' and preferential treatment for Mexican citizens.  To keep it humane, we will give anyone detained an immediate plane ride home back home, gratis.

A Long Pre-Naturalization Trial Period 

No guarantees.  You and your progeny must establish a track record as law-abiding residents. In my world, the Tsarnaevs would  not have been granted citizenship until their children had all grown.  Once their little bastards bombed the Boston Marathon, I would have rounded up every single family member and deported them all back to Kazakhstan where they came from (and where, incidentally, Chechens are not persecuted.)  You can't do that once you've granted them citizenship. 

A Simple 6-Point Plan

1. No more anchor baby citizenship
2. No public aid for non-citizens--immediate medical aid only and a free ride home
3. Bribe Muslim countries to take our Muslim refugee quota
4. Bribe Mexico to cooperate in immigration enforcement
5. Freedom of movement, but no citizenship for those who can return home
6. A long trial period as permanent residents before gaining US citizenship

I don't want our nation filling up with people who feel no love or loyalty to it, or who are ignorant of our history, our greatness, our laws, our morals, and our system of government.  America's 1%, academic and Hollywood elites, corporate cronies, Wall Street global elitists and Silicon Valley world citizens already feel this way, and we don't need it trickling down to the normal people